After five days of binging and reaching rock bottom (yet again), it is time to take definitive action. It's sink or swim from here onwards. I'm at a crossroads in my life. Is it time to stop. To just bloody stop. I'm so tired of the roller coaster and binging and dieting and low carb and no carb, spending two hours at the gym, running six days a week, Bikram three days a week and high protein, high fat...once I binged on butter. Yeah, we don't even need to go into the details of that.
Feeling incredibly low, so will keep this introduction short. But basically but goal is to go three hundred and sixty fives days without binging. Three hundred and sixty five days of not relying on food for emotional support, for use as a reward or really anything other than nourishment. Six days a week I will be at 1200 calories and one day a week 2000 calories will be permitted. Exercise is encouraged, but not essential. It will be used as a fun activity and not something that is meant to punish or hold one back from doing things one enjoys. We (well, my body and my mind, which I have discovered are two very different and separate entities) are going to try, attempt and look towards living mindfully and being happy, each and every day. Perhaps not all day everyday, but certainly that will be the objective set for each day. Food will not take precedence. It will be eaten mindfully and will not (just to reiterate) be used as a tool to supposedly 'fill one's void' or simply excite one.
In conjunction, I have decided to give up Facebook, as I find it simply distracts and does not add richness to one's life in the slightest.
So there's my confession. My heart laid bare. It's going to be tough. No food or friend network is going to get a little lonely. But through discipline and the act of stripping back comes tremendous freedom. And I surely look forward to that.
So here's to day one. The hardest day. And all the days to come, may strength, peace and an abundance of love pave the way...
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